Ok y’all, I’ve officially had enough.
I’m tired of reading the “I’m-not-homophobic-but” rants on your Facebook pages. I’m sick of you claiming that there is a secret organization of pedophiles in dresses that are thrilled for their chance to shine in North Carolina restrooms. I have had enough of the proclamations that Christians are being persecuted and your beliefs are being trampled upon.
That is ENOUGH.
I don’t care how many gay friends you’ve collected in your Pokemon ball or how many times you’ve watched Modern Family and thought “You know, I would totally go shopping with Cam”–if you are protesting that transgendered individuals should have a safe space to urinate, you are being discriminatory. Not only that, but you are proudly demonstrating your discrimination in seething Facebook posts and opinions. Don’t you realize that there are people in your life or the lives of those you love who identify as transgendered? Do you not care about the hurt and pain you bring into the hearts of others with your blind hatred?
Oh, you don’t? Well, I care.
I care about the impressionable children who will see all of these posts and articles, and feel less than because they are transgendered. I worry about the parents who are concerned because their transgendered child can’t go into a bathroom without being harassed, just like those who are concerned about a make-believe-bogeyman that our NC representatives have created to make people fearful of what they don’t know or understand.
Which brings me to my most infuriating point–if you think that North Carolina’s government gives one teeny-tiny SHIT about the women and children in our state, then you are crazier than the people I know protesting Target (but thanks for the shorter lines, y’all). If North Carolina gave any care to the women and children of our state, they would better fund our public schools and support our impoverished children. They would stop stomping all over women’s health rights and demand equal pay. They would stop blocking Medicaid so that women and children could receive affordable healthcare. That is how you demonstrate care of the women and children in this state. It’s not taking away other peoples’ rights by fighting for them not to use the same bathroom as me. That doesn’t protect me. I’ve been peeing alongside transgendered people–and using public restrooms–my entire life, and have never thought to myself “Damn, if North Carolina really cared about me, they would prevent this person peeing from doing it so close to me”. Nope, never thought it, and never will.
You know what I have thought, though? Why does my safety as a heterosexual, CIS-gendered woman matter more than a transgendered woman’s? Here’s a few sobering statistics:
- 72 percent of victims of anti-LGBT homicide are transgender women.
- 67 percent of anti-LGBT homicide victims are trans women of color.
Dammit, y’all. That is not okay.
We’re all humans, right? We all want the same things–to be loved, to be accepted, to be cherished by a community. I sure want that. I want it for everyone because I know that it can make all the difference in the world. So, I must beg the question–why do my rights matter more than someone elses, especially when it relies so heavily on something about myself I didn’t even choose? I have spent so much of my young adult life championing for women of all races, ages, religions, socioeconomic backgrounds, and sexual orientation.
It doesn’t end when I squat down to pee in a public restroom.
So, maybe you’re still mad. You may have read this and have decided that I just don’t “get it”. I probably don’t understand because I’m not a mom, or I’m not a Christian, or a plethora of excuses you can make to validate your own hatred for something you don’t understand. And unfortunately, I’m not going to change the minds of the truly bigoted because those minds are set. And truly, I don’t think I even wrote this to sway anyone’s opinions–I feel like I needed to write this all down because I’m hurting. I’m hurting for the people I love who this affects and the people I’ll never know that it affects. I’m hurting for our state as it falls backwards and appears hellbent on being on the wrong side of history. I hurt for future generations who have young parents who insist that this law isn’t about “hate”, it’s about prevention, when really all they’re doing is preventing their children from understanding that the world isn’t a dichotomy of “we’re right” and “they’re wrong”. I hurt because I want so much more from others, and I’m just exhausted from seeing people blame their fear and misunderstandings on something they could never control in the first place.
I’ve just had enough, you know?