It’s crazy to think that I haven’t written in this blog for over a year.
I could make an elaborate list of excuses. I’ve been busy, I’ve been focusing on other things, I’ve been so frustrated that words have failed me. The thing is, it doesn’t matter why I haven’t written–what’s important is that I am ready to talk again.
What a year it has been, truly. In the realm of current events, it’s been intense (and that is even a drastic understatement). There isn’t much left for me to say that hasn’t already been said, but I’ve been waist-deep in the conversations surrounding women, racism, and human rights for the better part of a year, and while in the past I have become exhausted by the constant attack on things I care about, there is something valuable in sustainable resilience. You would think I have said everything I can about white fragility or immigration rights, but you’d be wrong. Every day I get a little bit more informed, a little bit wiser, and I’m ready to hold my ground my ideals. Things have gotten uncomfortable, but that’s how revolutions go. There’s no ease when you’re trying to inspire change–it comes with a force, not a quiet whisper.
Personally, this past year has shown me more growth than I thought possible. I have learned the glory that is truly setting boundaries. As an eternal people pleaser, I’ve spent a good part of my life apologizing for things I didn’t do and jumping to the chance to avoid confrontation. And while I’m still not perfect at setting boundaries, this year has shown me that I can do it and stick to my word. I have learned that what I need and my own comfort is just as valuable as anyone else. I have learned that speaking your truth doesn’t have to be gentle, it doesn’t have to be perfect…but it does need to happen. And I have learned that it’s not a painless process…it really, really hurts sometimes to set boundaries. However, it’s always worth it.
It feels good to jot some thoughts down. I had more, but I don’t want to give it all away at once. So for now, I’ll smile that I did a thing and wrote some words and feel a little bit more elated. Writing does that for me, and I shouldn’t forget that. No matter what excuses I can come up with to not write.